Monday, August 29, 2011

A Week After My "Loving" Fiancee Dumped Me

I'm too tired and emotionally drained to feel like recording the whole story here--especially since no one comes here. I will say this: in dumping me, Shannon claimed that I made her uncomfortable with my performer's personality, whereas she supposedly was shy and retiring. But in the time she spent with me at the Colorado Renaissance Festival, by HER OWN choice and initiative she aggressively got into the act with me, chattering away at the customers I was meeting. Not a very good testimonial to honesty on her part.

Anyway, I will post here a glimpse into my stream of consciousness as a jilted man. By golly, the aftermath of a traumatic rejection DOES have something in common with the aftermath of a bereavement. I'm in doldrums not unlike what followed Mary's death and then Janalee's death. So I wrote a sonnet.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It's actually a sign of my fatigue
If I let one more sonnet now be born.
The style's become familiar; it's my league;
' Twould be more work to use a different form.

I read the Book of Romans through last night,
Then did some Russian work today; but still
There is no new romantic love in sight;
Enthusiasm wanes, as does my will.

Next month I'm at the Santa Fe Ren-Fair:
Just going through the motions, truth be told.
I'll try, of course, to please the patrons there;
But if some lovely lady, acting bold,

Pretends to find me handsome and so nice,
My thought will be, "No, you can't fool me twice."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

By the way, the reading of Romans represents my new effort to do more Bible reading, since "extracurricular" phenomena failed me utterly in their APPEARANCE of proving to me that God had sent Shannon to be my new love. Always a good thing to grow more strongly rooted in God's Word; but I can't help thinking that I could have increased my reading WITHOUT needing to be played for a sucker by a woman I loved.