Monday, August 29, 2011

A Week After My "Loving" Fiancee Dumped Me

I'm too tired and emotionally drained to feel like recording the whole story here--especially since no one comes here. I will say this: in dumping me, Shannon claimed that I made her uncomfortable with my performer's personality, whereas she supposedly was shy and retiring. But in the time she spent with me at the Colorado Renaissance Festival, by HER OWN choice and initiative she aggressively got into the act with me, chattering away at the customers I was meeting. Not a very good testimonial to honesty on her part.

Anyway, I will post here a glimpse into my stream of consciousness as a jilted man. By golly, the aftermath of a traumatic rejection DOES have something in common with the aftermath of a bereavement. I'm in doldrums not unlike what followed Mary's death and then Janalee's death. So I wrote a sonnet.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It's actually a sign of my fatigue
If I let one more sonnet now be born.
The style's become familiar; it's my league;
' Twould be more work to use a different form.

I read the Book of Romans through last night,
Then did some Russian work today; but still
There is no new romantic love in sight;
Enthusiasm wanes, as does my will.

Next month I'm at the Santa Fe Ren-Fair:
Just going through the motions, truth be told.
I'll try, of course, to please the patrons there;
But if some lovely lady, acting bold,

Pretends to find me handsome and so nice,
My thought will be, "No, you can't fool me twice."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

By the way, the reading of Romans represents my new effort to do more Bible reading, since "extracurricular" phenomena failed me utterly in their APPEARANCE of proving to me that God had sent Shannon to be my new love. Always a good thing to grow more strongly rooted in God's Word; but I can't help thinking that I could have increased my reading WITHOUT needing to be played for a sucker by a woman I loved.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

To Someone Who Missed the Point of "Crime and Punishment"

A fan of Dostoevsky ought to see
What Rodion Raskolnikov was shown:
It was precisely his autonomy,
His choosing to believe that he alone

Could redefine the right and wrong, that left
Him rudderless. That's why Raskolnikov
Thought he was authorized to put to death
Two helpless women. Thus he was cut off

From conscience and from wisdom, till he dreamed
Of how men just like him could wreck the world;
He had to yield himself to be redeemed,
Helped in this by a so-called fallen girl.

His trust in self trapped him inside a curse
Which only faith in Jesus could reverse.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Months of Thought Set Down in One Sitting

If Not Ending With A Whimper, We At
Least Are Slowing Down With A Bang



This morning, my friend Bradley Ball, a Vietnam veteran and a minister of the gospel of Jesus, crossed over into his Lord's presence, by means of the exact same cancer that took my first wife Mary seven years ago. Three years ago, my second wife Janalee was taken away by a sudden heart attack. In Janalee's case, it was much on my mind that God might have called her home, instead of healing her, because He wanted her to be safely out of the way of the evils that were coming to the Earth. I now feel the same way about Brad.

Tomorrow, aggressive homosexual activists will once again be trying to make Saint Patrick's Day be all about them and their self-indulgence, even though this holiday is not about ANY kind of sexuality. They still pretend that they are poor, persecuted martyrs, when in fact they have been the darlings of pop culture for many years. Today, the Dennis Miller show discussed a novel about racial injustices of FIFTY YEARS AGO. Just what we need, still more of rehashing the Sixties--while in THIS decade, Eric Holder is allowed to run interference for the BLACK racists of the PRESENT time, who intimidated voters at a polling place. Is it really so much to ask, that people would forget the retro fascination, and address the actual troubles that exist NOW?

Yes, it probably IS too much to ask. Or if people do address the current problems, they'll offer exactly the wrong SOLUTIONS--as when politicians claim that the solution to our national deficit is to go STILL FURTHER into debt, or when labor-union bosses push and push to reinforce their privileged position, and too bad for everyone else. But it will not be any particular one of the existing crises that brings America low--NOT EVEN the Japanese reactor-meltdown crisis, which in my flesh-nature has me scared poopless. If enough Americans were now all the positive things that Americans at their best have been, we could with God's permission face and conquer ALL these perils.

What promises to devastate us is our people's loss of spirit, focus, integrity, and backbone.

Some thirteen years ago, my Mary and I went several times to a church which used lively liturgical dance in its worship services. There are Christians right now who sound the alarm against "show business" worship styles; but this church was not failing to preach the gospel. The problem in this church was neither an absence of Biblical teaching, nor the presence of dancing. The problem was to be found in the rank-and-file membership. When they had open-mike prayer-request times, Mary and I were the ONLY persons who ever brought up anything like praying for persecuted believers in other countries, or praying for the salvation of unrighteous officials. Most of what was brought up for intercession was, "Let me get a promotion at my job," or "Ask God to lead me in finding a boyfriend." Of course it was no sin to pray about these things; but when things like these were ALL that a congregation was interested in praying about, Mary and I could see that a chunk of Christendom was losing its vision. And if born-again children of God are forgetting to be salt and light in this world, how can we expect the unconverted to perform better?

So here it is, 2011, and all around us are empty-headed Americans worrying about their vacations, or their pet cats, or their yoga classes, or their self-esteem, instead of the life-and-death situations which ARE going to affect them whether they pay attention or not. All around us are teenyboppers who adore sexy vampires, but have no respect for the armed forces which have kept them alive and free TO adore sexy vampires. All around us are disciples of the entitlement philosophy, who will still be shouting "Gimme, gimme, I want MINE!" while the country collapses.

I am continually reminded of my powerlessness. I cannot do a single blessed thing to prevent radioactive particles from crossing the Pacific Ocean, if God does not choose to prevent it. Indeed, I can only even WRITE about these matters while a state of civilization survives; take that away, and I'll be just one more civilian trying to survive a few more days. But while I do still have an audience, I must say what's on my heart.

SOMETHING is going to hit us in our time of weakness. Collectively we have lost our self-discipline and our idealism--and it does NOT count as idealism when crowds chant, "Hope and change! Now give us more welfare goodies!" Still less does it count as idealism when Muslim terrorist Arid Uka murders two of our Air Force personnel in Germany (who had not been provided with the means to defend themselves), and the administration won't bother even to recognize this murder AS terrorism. Least of all does it count as idealism when almost all American Christians boast of "being spiritual" because they're NOT paying attention to events in their own country, not paying attention as their own freedom of speech is attacked, and not paying attention as power brokers behind the scenes do things we don't hear about in the news to ruin our system of representative government. In this our condition of weakness, we will be hit HARD: either by a cancer plague from fallout hitting our West Coast, or by our industries failing because tyrannical regulations deny them access to energy sources, or by Communist China asserting its growing power at our expense, or by some other very large setback. It will be the widespread loss of patriotic will, the lack of direction, that will make this blow so damaging to us.

If America is going to continue at all, it is going to have to be the way a heart-attack survivor needs to proceed: giving up various bad habits, limiting many activities. I don't mean we should give up having modern industry--that is something we need to RECOVER! But one thing we certainly will need to do, will be to DECREASE our overseas military involvements. This is NOT because it is automatically wrong for a nation to support its interests militarily, nor automatically wrong to defend allies. It is ABSOLUTELY not because our military personnel are bad people; the men and women of the United States Armed Forces display a quality of moral behavior such as few military establishments in the history of the world have ever come close to. Remember that my saintly friend Brad Ball was a military veteran. BUT WE JUST CANNOT DO EVERYTHING; and our ability to do ANYTHING is being diminished rapidly.

If it is not yet Chapter Four of Revelation, then we might still see America being granted a time of reprieve, an interval in which the message of Christ can go on being proclaimed. But in that interval, we will urgently need to clean house. We will need to PAY ATTENTION to circumstances, not claim that ignoring evil makes us more spiritual. We must look beneath the surface of our own government, and follow the tracks of weasels wherever they lead. For instance, although our troops in Afghanistan are doing their duty gallantly, and are not to blame for dirty dealing that goes on without their knowledge, not enough of us at home are investigating questions like "Who profits by encouraging the opium trade in that country?" I would feel much better about our troops going into harm's way if I could be sure that they were not on false missions for someone's private gain.

America has whimpered along in its wimpiness, and is now sure to be staggered by the bang of one or more catastrophes. Which ones, and how big, remains to be seen. But we're not going to be allowed to skate along with business as usual. So those Americans who HAVE kept their patriotic will, are going to need to REJECT business as usual. If God wills it, our country can still make a difference for good in the world, though probably not as a superpower anymore. I am reminded of this by humanitarian groups like Team Rubicon, which is currently standing by to render aid to any small Pacific island nations that might need help in the aftermath of the tsunami. There still is good in America; there still are more than fifty righteous men even in the modern Sodom. But for us to bear any good fruit in the dark days facing us, we will need BOTH to be able to accept America being humbled, AND to keep on trying to obey God's will in action. Let us not grow weary in well-doing....even if we're scared poopless. May the Holy Spirit provide us with the perfect love which casts out fear; we're SO going to need it.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Part of What's on MY Mind on Super Bowl Sunday

A Reflection upon
the Fragility of Life


The huge volcano under Yellowstone,
Which pushes up the ground a bit each year,
Is in my thoughts as I sit here alone,
Inspiring what you may describe as fear.

If it cuts loose, the swift, unmeasured blast,
Inflicting death across this continent,
Will mean that all familiar ways are past;
Survivors will inquire where their world went.

The Super Bowl won't matter anymore,
Nor fashion trends, nor Twitter, nor I-Pod.
Whoever's left won't have a fancy store
In which to buy new clothes to meet their God.

Perhaps we need specific threats; then we
Are prodded to recall eternity.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Time Travel For A Six-Year-Old

Wow, I've left this blog untouched for quite awhile now! Well, I can truthfully give the excuse that real life, in many forms, has kept me occupied. This has included being concerned with the grave illness of the very minister who performed my wedding to Janalee. It has also included generous amounts of my being treated with indifference, disregard or contempt by some (certainly not all) women of my acquaintance.

But just lately, on the anniversary of the evening when I proposed to Mary, I enjoyed good bonding time with Mary's and my grandson Dominic. I was babysitting him, because his school was closed for severe weather.

Since Mary left this world before Dominic arrived in it, he has not yet been told about her life. But on Wednesday, I made a beginning. Some of my friends are familiar with my narrative poem "A Red-Haired Lady In Heaven," which envisions Mary's arrival on the other side. Now I told Dominic a story about "The Red-Haired Nurse" and a true adventure she had in Vermont. It was a beginning. One day, I hope to show Dominic the video I have of his Mom, his Grandpa Joe, AND his Grandma Mary, on a scenic vacation in 1989.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Guilty Even When Proven Innocent

Tonight, a good-natured college girl of my acquaintance reacted in a disappointing way to my online statement that some accusations of racism are false. The young woman chose to line up with a boy who thought it was clever to say that all people are racists but not all are bigots. Whatever the heck _that_ distinction means. The young woman sought to refine this dogmatic assertion by "explaining" that if someone's racism wasn't obvious, well then, it simply was _subconscious_ racism. I was reminded of satires of witch trials, like the one in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," where _every_ possible result of witch-finding tests is _equally_ treated as "proof" that the suspect is a witch. So I wrote the following to the college girl....

A belief in "subconscious" racism, in "subconscious" anything, can be a way of dismissing the need for _evidence_ of what one believes to be true about people. The people can go through every day of their lives without _acting_ like they ha...ve the quality that you insist they have--but that just means they _subconsciously_ have that quality! Then, no matter _what_ they do, it still somehow "proves" the same pre-chosen conclusion. This all-encompassing "subconscious" explanation covers all bases, trumps all contrary evidence.

________, you are the last young person I would have expected to use a "ghost in the machine" argument; but on your own showing, you see a racist ghost in the machine of every human mind. Whoever has encouraged you to think this way, must be smirking over their success--because, although your own friendly and appealing personality is NOT an arrogant and offensive one, this dogma of universally-present racism is causing you to do something which has the same _effect_ as arrogance. That is, it causes you to assume confidently that you know what is in my personality better than I know it. Well, you _don't_ know my personality better than I do.

But I believe I know why it _seems_ as if racism is everywhere. For various reasons which are not _synonymous_ with genetic heredity, certain attitudes and preferences have come to be shared by large numbers of persons who also happen to share an ethnic background. For instance, when politicians spend decades relentlessly telling African-Americans that they are automatically entitled to welfare handouts, there _will_ be many African-Americans believing that they are automatically entitled to welfare handouts. Then, when someone like me _observes_ the concrete fact that many African-Americans have been taught to expect handouts, those who have themselves been _taught_ to see "racism" in everything, will think that they are seeing racism in me. But they're NOT seeing racism in me; what they're seeing is the fact that I'm aware of a _sociological_ process going on. There is enough real racism in the world, that statements NOT motivated by racism can get mistakenly lumped together with actual racist utterances.

Tossing me a bone by telling me that my supposed racism "isn't immoral" does nothing to negate the presumption of _telling_ me I'm a racist. I'm not claiming such conclusive knowledge of _your_ insides as you claim you have of my "subconscious" racism; but if it should ever occur that you wanted to dismiss some opinion of mine as unreasonable without needing to _prove_ it was unreasonable, it would be mighty handy to be able to say, "Well, Joseph just thinks that way because his racism is distorting his thinking."

________, however you personally came to have this belief in that sneaky goblin of invisible racism, it does happen to be identical with a presupposition used by a LOT of hardcore-leftwing politicians. They use it, not to promote understanding of human nature, but to _silence_ all disagreement with _their_ agendas. "If you don't see the _same_ solutions to social problems as we see, that's your subconscious racism impairing your judgment." Only, they're not usually as nice as you are; they'll go ahead and accuse dissenters of _intentional_ racism. But I don't buy it. You shouldn't buy it either; such a well-intentioned girl as you are ought not to fall into lockstep with this politically-correct falsehood.

The young woman then "clarified" further, by citing research findings which prove that people can't easily recognize differences in _visual_ appearance among members of a different ethnic group than they were brought up with. WELL, DUH! By the same token, I could fail to see visual differences among rocks or trees or machines or buildings of types that I was unfamiliar with. But the politically-correct establishment _will_ use this irrelevant fact of sight-perception to support its race-card playing; and this girl, highly intelligent but far from wise, is prepared to let them do it.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

A Timely Intervention

I saw in the news that a schoolgirl in Fresno, California was kidnapped by a pervert. As the pervert was driving to reach whatever place he intended to use to have his evil way with his innocent victim, a man on the same road spotted him, and used his own vehicle to block the path of the kidnapper. This enabled the child to escape.

That's right: a citizen who was NOT a badge-carrying police officer intervened, and SAVED a crime victim. By the exact reasoning which is used AGAINST private gun ownership, this good man should have minded his own business, and said, "ONLY the police are allowed to do anything." Then the little girl would be dead now, but political correctness would be satisfied.